Thoughts

While I am listening to One Big Kiss for Seattle Children's Hospital...it has me thinking. Once you have lost your own two sons you hope and you pray that nobody has to go through what we went through. What I keep hearing is how the Doctors there bend over backwards and do EVERYTHING they can to help each and every child. There are babies born premature that would have probably never made it had they not been at Children's. What breaks my heart, is knowing that with Hudson and Emerson there was no hope. The doctors looked at us and told us there was nothing they could do but at the same time their willingness to try was non existent. It wasn't there. Maybe what they could have done would have put me at risk for something but maybe it could have saved the boys, maybe they could have made it to 24 weeks. We will never know. But what hurts the most looking back now, is instead of a doctor trying, they walked away. I delivered and never saw the doctor again. I'm crushed.